Once upon a time (actually it happened as recently as 2006) I fell in love with one of the most pretty ladies I ever met. She was not only pretty but smart also and her mind was fast and furious at times.

Unfortunately the conditions were not in favor to allow this beautiful love-seed to blossom. In stead of a rewarding relationship, I got a lot of misery. Misery not caused by others but by my own ignorance and expectations. I had a tough time letting go of this experience. But time goes on and heals the broken heart.  

Today I’m back here at Kratomhin, the place where that love potential first saw daylight. The lady is gone. Leaving behind only this dress and those shoes. 

Kratomhin is a lovely place. A resort surrounded by the beautiful, rolling hills of Wang Nahm Keow. Guests are pampered. Food is served hot and tasty.

Without that lady however, Kratomhin is like a heaven without angels. Like nirvana without deva’s. 

It feels like the story is not over yet. It’s like the dress and shoes are waiting patiently. Waiting for Cinderella to return. They fit only one. That one.

It’s good stuff. Stuff where dreams are made of. Only that lady knows. Knows if she ever choose this fairy tale to be true.

Credits to h.kopdelaney

The image of integration is the unio mystica, the fusion of opposites. This is a time of communication between the previously experienced dualities of life. Rather than night opposing day, dark suppressing light, they work together to create a unified whole, turning endlessly one into the other, each containing in its deepest core the seed of the opposite. Integration as the symbol of self-creation and new life. Mystical union also known as alchemy.

~Osho~

Shalom!

Integration:  the main theme of Ans’ journey to Israel.

Parts of himself feel strongly connected to this ancient country with a rich history.  It is a time of communication between those different aspects.   Communication and integration.  Time to welcome them back. Time to let them know it’s safe to let go of their energy structure. Time to set them free. To unify.

On the camino to Santiago he experienced that there is no better way to discover a country than by walking.

That’s why he first hikes the Jesus trail from Nazareth to Tiberias.  This recently marked trail is an alternative for travelers and pilgrims to experience the steps of Jesus in a way that is authentic, adventurous and educational. The hike is a fun way to explore the rugged and beautiful landscape of the Galilee.

From Tiberias on he will hike part of the Israel National Trail (INT) to Netanya. The INT  is a footpath that winds its way nearly 1000 kilometers across Israel, from the Lebanese border in the north to the Red Sea in the south. In Netanya he will celebrate Pesach with Israeli friends on April, 18.

Subsequently  he will hike the Jerusalem trail to be on time in Jerusalem to celebrate Easter in the old city on April, 24.

You can follow Ans in Israel on this Google map and Google spreadsheet. The data are daily recorded and uploaded with the Android app MyTracks. Pictures will be added on facebook and picasa. Visit tripit for journey details and this preparation map for GPS tracks and markers of important places.

Tobias’ Aspectology School by the Crimson Circle is highly recommended to people who want to know more about integrating different aspects of yourself.

Let’s the re-union begin!

By Dante Gabriel Rossetti

“Il Mare” is a good example of how our choices create reality.  This Korean movie portrays beautifully different potentials based on different levels of awareness of the main characters. The story is the following:

The present (1998) Sung-hyun (male) communicate with the future (2000) Eun-joo (female). Her future self is more aware than the present (1998) about what she really wants in life.

The present Eun-joo is in love with another man.  She chooses the potential to marry him.  Therefore there is no time and space to start something with Sung-hyun.  After she finds out that he has an affair while working abroad, she has a hard time.  But it is through this break-up experience that she opens up to Sung-hyun.  Her future self start communicating with his present self. They develop a deep friendship which could turn into a relationship if they both choose so.  Sung-hyun present self is clear about his choice, he wants to meet Eun-joo in the future.  They have a date one week ahead of Eun-joo future self. He does not show.

Eun-joo is disappointed. But she herself turns out to be the reason why he did not show.  After the appointment with Sung-hyun, she meets the other man again. She still clings to the old potential of them getting married.  A potential that once upon a time looked very promising but has no real future because of all that happened.  That’s why her future self asks Sung-hyun to interfere in the past and prevent the other man from leaving aboard.  After a big inner struggle, Sung-hyun respects her choice.  But while he tries to make the other man change his mind, he is hit by a car and dies.  That’s why he did not show up.

When Eun-joo finds out, this tragic experience opens up her awareness a little more. She clearly sees and chooses now the potential of a relationship with Sung-hyun. But is it to late?  Did she discover her deep love for him to late to make the relationship a reality?  Her future self hurries to let him know her feelings and she cancels her request to interfere in the past.

The movie ends with a changed reality. Sung-hyun did not try to interfere, he did not die and they finally meet face to face.

The movie is an artistic depiction of wisdom about day-to-day life. The reality we live in is indeed of our own choosing. Choices evolve because awareness expand. Awareness expands because experiences we go through.

Difficult experiences (broken heart, death of a loved one, …) are only “difficult” because it’s hard to let go. We cling to old believes and expectations because they are so comfortable and familiar.  Difficult experiences are in fact hidden blessings. They help us to open up.  They are telling us that the potentials we chose in the past, are not valid any longer.

Open up and be aware of all the other beautiful potentials out there. Potentials you never could imagine.  Potentials your future self will prefer better than the old ones.

So let’s open up!  Let’s evolve. Let’s create reality upon reality, more and more true to our deepest choosing. Let’s be free.

PS: Apart from the story, the movie is worthwhile to watch for the beautiful cinematography and skillful acting. It’s my first encounter with Korean cinema and it will definitely not be my last. Here is the trailer:

Ola!

On the 5th of June 2010 Theresa and I will start a new adventure.  The Mystery Pilgrimage is a combination of walking the Camino in Spain and attending a Mystery school in Austria.  It is a combination of a traditional pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela and a contemporary spiritual event in Salzburg.

The aim is the same: inner freedom.

Although I expect not to write to much while going through the personal experience, the new technology (in the form of a smart and wonderful Android Nexus one)  makes it possible to share the Mystery Camino experience almost in real time. You can follow our journey from day to day on these websites:

1. Pictures on a map: While making a picture on the Mystery Pilgrimage, the phone registers the location.  While uploaded to the webalbum, the pics are automatically mapped. You can view them as a slideshow or directly on the map.  Pictures can be uploaded immediately after making them, so it’s a quick and visual way to follow our progress on the camino.

2. Mapping our tracks: Every day “My Tracks“, an android app by Google, is recording our walking position every 100m (or 10m if the battery allows so). Stages will be uploaded to this map on the evening of every stage. A simple and easy way to literally see where we are going.

3. Statistics about the journey: The same app uploads all the data (distances, speed, elevation,… ) to a published Google spreadsheet. On the “log” sheet you find data for every stage while the “stats” gives an overview for the whole journey.  Only for data lovers.

We will walk from St. Jean Pied de Port (France) to Santiago, from the 5th of June till the 7th of July 2010. With the help of Godesalco we could plan the different stages ahead. This plan is not carved in stone. We made up our mind not to hurry and listen inside when and where to go.  It is even possible we will take sometimes a bus.

With the data available at Godesalco I could create an overview map of the complete camino. Because Google maps does not represent all the data at once, the map looks nicer in Google Earth.  Just open this .kml file to fly over the Camino.

You can also open the other maps mentioned above directly in Google Earth:

• For the picture map save this text in a file with .kml extension and open the file.
• For the tracks map open this .kml file in Earth.

After the camino we attend a Mystery School in Salzburg.  This event is organised by the Crimson Circle.  The main goal of the Crimson Circle is to open up and inspire consciousness.  We are looking forward to meet and share our energies with fellow Shaumbra.

Buen (virtual) Camino!

1. Register at vPost.  This service provides you a free personalized address in UK, USA and Japan, which you can use to ship to from the merchants website.  When the package arrives, vPost informs you and after paying shippingcost they send the package to your home address.  It is possible to  register a home address in India, Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore and Australia.  Borderlinx and Comgateway offer similar services but Borderlinx does not ship to Thailand yet.  After reading reviews on the different services I would have chosen Comgateway in stead of vPost.

The “how to shop and ship guide” explains clearly what to do  next.

2. Shop online from any USA, Japan or European merchant.
Buying a Google nexus one is only possible online if the site recognize your IP as a USA IP.  There are several ways to change your IP address into a USA one.  I used the free-to-trial hide-my-ip software. Download, install and choose the option to use always a USA IP. Click “hide my IP “and it will be possible to order the Google phone.

Other ways to change IP are foxyproxy, a firefox add-on or hotspotshield software.

Use your vPost address as shipping address.  Because you vPost-address is located in Oregon, no extra taxes are involved.  Google ships the Nexus for free.  Provide vPost the shippingdetails by e-mail.

Total cost 529 USD (387 EUR)

3.  When the package arrives, vPost informs you.  After paying the shippingcosts and cutoms GST they ship the package to your home address.  The shipping cost to Thailand will be an estimated 37 USD (27 EUR).  Singapore Customs only imposes GST on individual packages, with VS shipment numbers, imported into Singapore for which the CIF (Cost, Insurance and Freight) amount exceeds SGD 400.  Not sure if you have to pay the GST for an import into Thailand.

21

Let’s shine
strong and straight
like the sun

Ceaselessly emanating rays
nourishing  life

Not afraid
to burn others

They ‘ll find shadow
in the heat of the day

The gift of truth excels all other gifts.
The flavor of truth excels all other flavors.
The pleasure in truth excels all other pleasures.
DH. 354

Ans likes to share this little gem of a Buddhist Chantingbook.  The book is based upon the standard Thai chantingbook used in Wat Pacharoenrat, a Buddhist temple in Thailand.  This version adds the English translation of the chants and transliterates the Pali and Thai into readable English.

By clicking on the front-page you can see for yourself and browse through the book. You ‘ll find more information on the benefits of chanting, the meditation practice, the rules and regulations in a temple, the daily schedule and the eight precepts.  The chants themselves are grouped in the morning, evening and special chant section.  Every chant is in Pali followed by the Thai and English translation.

The daily schedule in a Thai temple has often a morning and evening chanting.  The monks, nuns and laypeople chant the teachings of the Buddha in Pali and Thai.  The purpose of this book is to encourage the foreign students of the temple to join the chanting sessions. While chanting in itself can be useful to calm the mind, it is much more encouraging to do so when you know what you are chanting.

While staying in a Buddhist temple a couple years ago, Ans experienced the benefits of chanting for himself.  He truly enjoyed the (short version) of the morning and evening chants. That’s why he happily provided technical support to his friend Dani to create the English version of this book.  As a long term foreign student of Wat Pacharoenrat, she understands firsthand the need for an English version.  That’s why she compiled the different chantings, searched for English translations and corrected the previous version. Now she is looking for resources to publish the second version of the book.  Donations are warmly welcome.

May this gift of Dhamma help to find truth in our own lives.
Many blessings!

An updated version of this chantingbook is available thanks to my friend Phra Adhicitto (aka Frank Newbold). Thank you for the hard work.

Copyrighted by Doug Mills/The New York Times

Ans never really was into politics, especially not into the politics of the USA.  All of this changed the first time he heard Obama speaking as a candidate for the presidency of the USA. He could feel that there was something different.  Obama is different. Expressing an energy the world is waiting for.  Politics on a higher level.  Politics as politics should be.

Talking about energy is difficult.  The only way to know is to feel.  Through the reader comments below and the picture above, both belonging to an article in the NY times, it is easy to feel the energy behind Obama.  Just take a deep breath, let go of all the worries and feel.

That feeling is Why Obama.

To heck with the dry cleaning. What matters is that Obama stood in the rain with us, his own shirt soaked through, inspired us with a powerful speech, and slogged in the mud to clasp hands with people who had waited all day to hear him. Look at the face of that young man in the picture. That was the emotion that I saw this evening at this rally. I was there. I am still soaked to the skin and my 55-year old feet will hurt for days from standing for six hours in mud. But how moving it was to be surrounded by Americans of all races and ages. . . especially the students who have been inspired and engaged by Obama. After years of feeling disenfranchised and discouraged myself, I am so excited by the prospect that we will soon have a president who believes in all of us and brings out our best nature. What I saw and heard tonight was not just the exuberance of college students at an historic event, but full-throated support of the idea that this is a country where we care about each other. These young people are registered to vote, enthusiastic about being involved in the process, and generous in spirit. Obama is exactly the right man to help them lead us into our future.

— Charlotte from Fredericksburg

I was there today, soaked through and muddy to my ankles, surrounded by people of many different ethnicities and ages. I’m a 44 year old mother of 3 who has always been an Independent; I’ve always voted the person. Barack Obama is more than just intelligent and insightful. There is something about him that inspires hope and the courage to take action. I am voting for him because he represents all the things I want my country to be for my children.

— loudounmom

Today’s heavy rains and light showers didn’t stop the publics support for Change. I was one of the 14 thousand Virginians denied access to the main area; nevertheless we 14 thousand: young, old, white,black, brown, gay, straight, poor, middle class and elites, packed like vienna sausage, didn’t complain. We had a ball – singing, dancing, laughing, and conversing in the rain with total strangers united for one common purpose: to embrace Barack Obama’s message of Change! Wow, that was GREAT!

— marlon

Wow, What a way to demonstrate it’s about the people and not Obama. ….. I wish I had been there as well.

— Vikki

Kudos to photographer Doug Mills of the Times. Love that pic. Would like to see it enlarged. That frame sums up Campaign 2008. We have not seen a candidate who can bring out such enthusiasm for many, many years. Barack gives us such hope and we need a downpour of it now.

— Felix

Oh, what a beautiful picture. Thank you, New York Times. You’ve captured the Obama campaign’s historic momentum and enthusiasm perfectly. I feel even more hopeful after seeing that picture than I did after last night’s debate, when I watched the commentary and realized that America saw what I saw last night: that graceful and dignified Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States!

— julie

Nice report, and what a great photo of people reaching out in the rain to shake Obama’s hand…what terrific symbolism, hands stretched out—there are rainbows in the camera lights, for goodness sake—you can’t make that up. Maybe that’s why even an old guy like me has begun to hope once again that we can reconnect with our highest ideals.

— Martin J

The picture speaks volumes! Beautiful, really.

Obama isn’t “the One” but he is aware of how much this country yearns to tap into our historic legacy. We are a nation of dreamers who like to imagine a better, more just and free people. The fact that he can channel this passion infuriates the petty haters. I must admit that I enjoy their rage and revel in watching a new generation learn to laugh at their anger.

Bubba Tex (yup, that Texas)
A “Hopeful” Republican for Obama

— Bubba Tex

That is one heck of a picture there – true joy in orange.

— Billy

I love it. I wish I was there. I don’t mind at all if it was for Obama. Here at home, I read and followed the news every minutes, hours…Definitely, after over 18 mths watching these 2 men marketting themselves, myself and my friends have come to the decision to vote for Obama. Obama has dignity and integrity. Of course no one is perfect. Of course he has his weakness. So do we. He cannot please everyone. But he would be the best person to fix this mess of the economy and the less respect for America issue from the world. Mr Mc Cain cn run for president again but not at this time.

— amt7799@msn.com

What a genuine great guy! He so inspires and impresses…Last night he was everything in that debate we need him to be. He wasn’t bullied into responding in like and stayed above the fray, almost like he was destined to be here at this time and place. I am so thankful for his willingness to be a public servant and his family’s sacrifice to run for this highest office in our land. Ibid for Joe Biden…They both could have gained more wealth, power and status much easier elsewhere, but they were looking out for us – the little guy- We needed them on our side and they were specially crafted! We are so proud of them and their families and all that they will be for our country. God bless you all!

— GraceNeeded

Image by premasagar via Flickr

Choices are important. They determine what you choose to create in your life. Ans experiences that choices he made seems not longer true or relevant. For this, he doubted himself.  He doubted because his choices did not become reality.  He felt like he wasted a lot of time.

Working through this inner struggle to get his choices clear, helped him to understand the creation process better:  choices are simply changing.  When you evolve and open up, your choices are evolving as well.  They reflect in a way your state of being in the now moment. He understands now that he can make choices on different levels.  He understands that it is necessary to let go of old ones to make space for new ones. New choices coming from a deeper soul level.

The next quote from a Tobias Q&A describes this understanding:

QUESTION FROM SHAUMBRA 6 (a woman at the microphone): Hi Tobias. For the last few months, I have had a lot of trouble making decisions. I make them (…) and the next day, the next week, it’s like, “Well no, that wasn’t the right choice.” I change my mind. I make another definite choice, and it keeps going around and around and around. And I talked to people today who are going through the same thing. Why can’t I make a decision and make it stick?

TOBIAS: Indeed. Excellent question (…)

Interesting phenomena. All Shaumbra are in a change energy. Your essence knows that there is constant state of flux. Your human self doesn’t really understand that yet. It’s uncomfortable with tremendous change taking place. You’re allowing yourself to practice conscious choice at the human mental level, and it’s wonderful because at least it’s showing you the flexibility that you have, showing you that you can indeed make choices. But it’s also showing you that you don’t have to get locked into anything. You’re not living on a linear path anymore.

You made a very interesting choice, for instance, about retirement, but you look at retirement as something that happens at a certain point in time and in a very linear calendar time. You change your mind, and it’s actually not your mind, but you change your perspective later because a part of you realizes that, in a sense, that was so yesterday, very old. And now with all of the rapid changes you realize that maybe there’s something else you want to do. You’re giving yourself the wisdom of the freedom of choice and change, which is very, very important. You’re taking off all the old restrictions.

But it’s also now at a different level forcing … not forcing, but encouraging you to make choices of what you would call the heart or the spirit rather than choices of the mind and just the human. There’s a tendency to focus first on choices that are very tangible and very much applied to the comfort of the human – choices about abundance or choices about health and very, very three-dimensional things. But then as you play with choices, you move up a level and then you start making choices of consciousness and spirit. At that point you realize you no longer really have to make choices of the human nature – the feeding, clothing and maintenance and protection of your human self – because those become quite incidental. The choices you make on a higher level will automatically take care of what we call the lower level needs.

All of this is trying to boost you up or move you up to very broad consciousness choices now. You’re actually on the right path, so to speak.

SHAUMBRA 6: Thank you.

Mark Zuckerberg explains what facebook is all about:

5:57
Kara: Define Facebook
Z: FB is about helping people share info about themselves. And open up. In a way they are comfortable with.

K: What differentiates it?

Z: How it’s tied together.   People share info and parts of themselves. And we have really good privacy settings, and everyone’s friends are there.

6:10
Z: (…) There are a lot of ways to help people share information about them.   You give people control, and they will share more.   That’s how people are able to open up and communicate.

Courtesy to Webware

He is talking about one of the many ways to open up.  Opening up to the outside world by sharing oneself. Sharing experiences is the new way of learning and growing.

The quality of the sharing depends on an opening up to the inside.  Breaking through rigid believesystems, integrating all the different aspects of oneself to connect to the essence beyond. Sharing from this essence makes life worthwile.

Global voice online reports: “The past few weeks have seen YouTube blocked again as well as Prachatai, Thailand’s foremost independent news portal and Same Sky, a journal of social criticism. Both sites have popular public Web discussion boards. In the past, both sites have been warned by MICT to self-censor “sensitive” public comments.

The difference between Internet censorship in Thailand and that in the Middle East, Myanmar and China is that Thailand is famously a Constitutional monarchy. Thailand claims to be a democracy but operate government-in-secret, above the law.

Now Thailand’s newly-elected government and its new ICT Minister are using lèse majesté as its ongoing excuse to block freedom of opinion and expression by Thais on issues vital to Thai society.”

Ans is testing direct automatic blogging from his Digg account. Censorship is old. People who try to use power to suppress free speech have to learn that the good old times are gone. Internet offers many ways to express and share your opinion. There is no way stopping people from doing so. Bypassing a block on websites is easy by going through a proxy server. Ans has access to youtube and is even uploading a movie using  Youtubeproxy.

read more | digg story

Every evening around 18.30 o’ clock, thousands and thousands of bats are leaving a cave behind the Bat temple, Wat Kao Song Pian, in Rachaburi, Thailand.

It is an amazing experience because they keep coming for over two hours. You will see in the movie that the rules for mass behavior apply as well. There are some ‘swings’ in the column of bats. They fly towards the sunset. Amazing nature.

Ans is testing the automatic blogging feature from his Flickr account. It seems like the youtube site is once again blocked by Thai authority. At least the mobile internet service from AIS does not allow him acces to the site.

Hakendover is the little village where Ans grew up.  The village is well-known for the yearly horse procession on Easter Monday.

The village is now selected as one of the semifinalists to earn the title ‘Most beautiful village of Flanders’.  Flanders is the Flemish speaking region in Belgium.

If Hakendover makes it to the final, the village will be represented on the national Belgian television.  The 1220 inhabitants are proud at Hakendover.  It would be nice if you help them by voting on this website.  The site is in Dutch.  But no worries, voting in the semifinal goes in three easy steps:

1. Click on “Stem nu!” in the pink box.
2. Fill in your name, surname and email, select “nee” and click on “stem” in the green box.
3. Click on the link “Klik hier” in the email you receive to confirm your vote.

Voting is open till wednesday 30/04/2008 noon.  It is easy to follow the score on the mainpage.

You are always welcome to discover Hakendover for yourself.  People who live to far away get a better impression through these pictures and a slidshow Ans made in 2006.

Update: Hakendover lost the semi finals.  Anyway, thanks to everybody who voted for our little village.

27 – 3 – 2008:

29 – 3 – 2008:

5 – 4 – 2008:

9 – 4 – 2008:

There appears a hole in the golden cocoon. It seems like the butterflies left their cocoons through the little hole.  Flying towards freedom.

~~ Click here for a Flickr slideshow of the rooms. ~~

Ans lives now already for a couple of months in a room close to Wat Sanghatan (1, 2), a Buddhist temple in Bangkok, Thailand.

He rent this room from his friend Kun Puky. She is responsible for the ‘Buddha Raksa rooms’. Ans recommends these rooms to anybody who is interested in learning about the temple life, without having to follow all the strict rules involved.

The temple offers an inspiring environment and strong energy. Some great spiritual teachers like Long Po Sanong Katapunyo are readily available to answer questions when asked for. He is the abbot of the temple and when he is in the temple you can visit him while he is eating.

The ‘Buddha Raksa rooms’ are also convenient if you only want some quite time for yourself in a green area just outside downtown Bangkok. Banglampu, the place where many foreigners connect, is easily accessible through a 30 minutes taxi boatride.

Kun Puky offers three newly build, private rooms for rent. Every room has its own private bathroom, terrace and balcony. There is no kitchen, but delicious food is cheap and easily available in the local restaurant. ‘Buddha Raksa’ is Thai and means something like ‘under the proctection of the Buddha’. In these rooms the Buddha will take care for you. Everbody is welcome!

For information about the price, checking vacancy or booking a room please call Kun Puky at +66 (0) 890 5000 52 or +66 (0) 8400 660 80. You also can email her at vimokkha@hotmail.com

People who know this area and the ‘Buddha Raksa rooms’ are invited to share their own experiences with potential guests through the comment section of this blog.

By coming into this world, Jesuah gives us the most precious gift a human ever can give: pure love. He loves to share his pure heart with all of us.

He is nevertheless limited by the ‘law of free will’ to do so. It is up to us if we allow his gift to be received. Receiving is only possible when we open ourselves completely. Allowing the giver to come close, allowing him to be intimate with us. Showing him our nakedness, our vulnerability.

May 2008 brings us the courage and the braveness to receive, to allow the love to flow. May we all learn to receive with an open heart. May we gladly and joyfully accept the gifts bestowed upon us.

~ The delicate process of the unfolding of a leaf. ~

Allereerst heb ik gordijnstof gekocht. Heel goedkoop hier, zo een 4 Euro voor alle gordijnen samen. Puky kende iemand die de gordijnen genaaid heeft. Dan hebben we ze opgehangen met nageltjes. Zeker niet perfect. Ik heb dikwijls aan thuis moeten denken, waar de gordijnen wel bijna 100% in orde zijn. Maar het resultaat mag er toch ook zijn. Ze verdonkeren goed, houden het geluid een beetje buiten en de crimson kleur geeft de kamer een warm gevoel. Ik heb ook een matje en een plant gekocht. Als altaartje gebruik ik een dikke steen, het bronzen plaatje van Viv met de levensboom en een schelp die ik van een Duitse vriendin heb gekregen tijdens mijn rondreis in Europa. De steen is groot genoeg zodat ik kaarsen kan branden zonder gevaar om gordijnen in de fik te steken hehe . Ik heb een houten bankje gekocht zodat het altaartje van de grond is. Dit is belangrijk in de Thai cultuur. Voor het altaartje heb ik een plaatsje voorzien om wierook te branden. Wierook heb ik goedkoop kunnen kopen in de Indische wijk hier in Bangkok. Dat is ook de plaats waar er veel keuze is in (goedkoop) gordijnstof.

Mijn vriend Nick is op bezoek geweest. Nick is half Indiër, half Amerikaan. We hebben elkaar leren kennen begin dit jaar. Op korte tijd is hij een heel goede vriend geworden. Hij wou eventjes weg uit het drukke Bangkok en is hier twee nachten komen logeren in mijn nederig stulpje. Maar hij vond het zalig, vooral ook omdat hier zo fijne mensen zijn zoals Puky, Koi and Bo. Nick heeft plotseling beslist om te verhuizen naar California. Hij bood mij aan om de dingen te kiezen van zijn inboedel die ik kon gebruiken. Uiteraard heb ik op dit moment maar een klein kamertje, daarom dat ik enkel practische dingen heb gekozen om mijn comfort te verhogen. Ik heb lakens gekregen en goede kussens. Ook boxen voor mijn laptop zodat het geluid van muziek en film goed is. Deze boxen werken voor het moment wel niet meer. Verder ook nog kapstokken, een lekker malse handdoek en een dekentje. Dankjewel, Nicky, het leven is hier al een stuk aangenamer.

Van Puky heb ik een scherp mesje gekregen en wat huisraad. Glazen heb ik zelf gekocht. Op de plaatselijke markt heb ik ook een paar IKEA borden op de kop getikt.

Dan heb ik de helft van de installatiekosten betaald voor de aircon (1500 Baht). Puky had die nog liggen van haar vorige woonst. De aircon is professioneel geïnstalleerd. Ik ben er zeker van dat als Papa hier was, we dit ook zonder hulp geklaard konden hebben. Maar het waren goede, vriendelijke werkmannen die proper gewerkt hebben. Aircon. Echt zalig hier in het zelfs in de winter warme Bangkok… Het verhoogt het leef comfort aanzienlijk. Minpunt is wel de hogere elektriciteitsrekening. Ik betaal op dit moment zo een 4200 Baht (huur en internet) en een 500 Baht kosten (water en elektriciteit). Drinkwater krijgen we gratis van de tempel. Eten doe ik hier in het plaatselijk restaurantje voor minder dan 1 Euro per maal. Lekker en gezond eten. Vriendelijke mensen.

Gisteren heb dan een waterkoker en een waterheater voor de douche gekocht. Dit heb ik betaald met het Sinterklaas extraatje. Alles samen zo een 2000 Baht. Ik kan nu mijn eigen thé maken! Brigitte had een mooie thé-potje gekocht volledig in glas. De waterheater is nog niet geïnstalleerd. Zou ook weer een ideaal werkje geweest zijn voor papa. Een paar gaten boren, electriciteit aankoppelen, water aankoppelen en klaar is kees. Ik heb echter niet het materiaal om dit zelf te doen. Puky kent iemand en ik hoop dat het deze week nog in orde geraakt. Het water is hier echt koud. Een warme douche is gewoonweg zaaaaalig.

Een frigo is nog wat ontbreekt. Maar dat is een iets grotere investering (rond the 5000 Baht) en ik wacht hier nog een beetje mee totdat ik zeker weet dat ik hier wat langer wil wonen. Ik voel me hier wel goed. Kom fijne mensen tegen die de tempel bezoeken, heb local support van Puky, kan gemakkelijk in Bangkok geraken met de boot, enz. De kans bestaat dus dat ik hier langer wil wonen. Ook Brigitte valt deze keer goed mee. Ze is heel vriendelijk en behandelt me beter dan vroeger. Goeie vooruitgang! Alles verandert.

Ondertussen heb ik ook een paar oude bekenden terug gezien. Eerst was er Jimmy, vriend van in België, die in deze kamer zijn laatste dagen doorbracht vooraleer terug te keren naar België.
Dan was er Frank, de Amerikaan die een appartementje heeft in Bangkok en twee kamers in Ban Sawangjai. Die kamers had hij laten inrichten voor zijn moeder, Anna. Vriendelijke oude dame, die nu wel terug in Amerika woont.

Dan is er ook nog Dani, dat meisje van Oostenrijk. Ze verblijft nu bijna een jaar in een andere tempel en voelt haar daar goed. Ze is ingeburgerd, maakt deel uit van de lokale gemeenschap en zorgt voor de buitenlanders. Ze spreekt ondertussen al vlot Thai.
Ik ben samen met Jörg, die Duitser die de meditatiefilm gemaakt heeft, haar tempel gaan bezoeken. Fijn om deze mensen terug te zien. Voelt onmiddellijk terug vertrouwd na al die tijd.

Ik heb ook al ‘gids’ gespeeld voor mensen die de eerste keer naar Thailand komen. Zo was er Kristina, een Filipijns meisje dat voor drie dagen Bankok bezocht en Ari uit Berlijn. Ik heb ze een stukje van Bangkok laten zien. Ari heeft ook een paar dagen in mijn kamer verbleven. Hij is een vriendelijk man, niet gewoon van te reizen zonder zijn vrouw.

Tot slot hebben we met al de bekenden Brigitte haar 45ste verjaardag gevierd. Brigitte koos het restaurant ‘Bei Otto’. Dit is een Duits restaurant waar je lekkere Duitse gerechten kan eten. Ze was heel blij met al de attenties en het lekkere eten.

Voila, tot daar de eerste update speciaal voor de familie!

Ans

Closed bud waiting patiently in the dark,
open lotus shining bright in the light.

As a roof is unfinished until the last hole is covered,
so hides a flower her full beauty until the last petal unfolds.

The covering and the unfolding
happens by itself.

Forcing hinders. Patience allows.

Accomplished at the appropriate time.

What he truly chooses in life is to deepen this connection and to share with everybody who also wants to open up to his or her own essence.

In a sense it feels special, cause he used to live his life most of the time disconnected. But in the end it feels normal. Just a natural state of being.

Opening up. That’s what life is all about.

On the evening before he left, not long after he wrote the blog about the white doves in his childhood dream, his neighbours gave him this tree of life.

The tree of life symbolizes the life energy which is running through all living beings. The tree goes beyond the tree of good and evil, the symbol of duality. Yes, you see right. There are two doves sitting peacefully on top of the arms of a cross…

The second synchronicity happened on the day he left. His sister opened randomly a little book to give him a message for his journey. The book opened on the following page:

Translation from Dutch: Not staying at home, sadly vanishing. You are a human. A human with eyes and ears, a human with a receptive soul. Rise on the wings of your dreams, move, live thousands lifes – a new world opens up for you. A world full of highs and lows, a world full of stories and music. Your world. Dare to live in this world. You are human. A human amidst humans.

Ans’ believes in signs. He interpret these two events as signposts that he is on the right track. On the right path to bring his dream into reality.

For more then two years now, he was a member of the Yahoo 360° community.  When he started, he had no experiences whatsoever in blogging and sharing his life with the outside world.  He learned a lot at 360° and is very grateful.  360° was also a platform where he met great new friends. 

But recenlty he decided to leave 360° for the simple reason that 360° is not offering a sufficent service anylonger. The blog is slow, pictures are not updating, profile pics not working, messages send late, … On top of this the communication about the problems and the future of 360° is very limited. In this post they announce that 360° will transition into a new profile thingie. Mash is one of the possibilities. Ans chooses not to transition to mash, cause it is still to messy.

Time to look for alternatives for some services he used at Yahoo.  The services are: webmail, blogtool, social networking, photo sharing.

He keeps his Yahoo account because their webmail is one of the best. Especially the integrated messenger, the RSS feeds, the unlimited storage space, the integration in the Yahoo messenger and the overall experience is just great.

Here at wordpress.com he found a neat bloggingtool.  He likes wordpress a lot.  The energy behind the community feels great.  This is also the reason why he chose facebook for social networking. The overall feeling is for him the most important reason to choose a webservice.  The only minus here at WordPress is the disabled feature of embedding flash because of security reasons.  Although adding music, video’s and slideshows to a blog is possible it would be nice if embedding flash was allowed (for example for greetingcards, and other stuff).  At the other hand, he loves the simple style.  Flash at times, make a page to chaotic.
He prefers facebook above other webservices as Hi5! and myspace because it is just great.  The site is highly adjustable, they have good privacy policy, and people tend to be real.  Flickr is still very nice for sharing pictures. It is simply the best. Easy to upload, organise, share and archive your pictures. 

These three services are well integrated into each other by means of widgets and applications.  The openess towards other platforms and integration is another advantage WordPress, facebook and Flickr share. 

Ans would appreciate it if you share which services you prefer and why. 

The picture expresses much better then these words a childhood dream of Ans. When he was young and innocent, the dream occured several times. A very simple dream. Two white doves towards a blue sky. Sometimes resting, sometimes flying around. Not much happening. The dream left him with an immense peaceful feeling.

While growing older, Ans realised that this dream is all about his life. Living carefree, full of inner peace, and sharing his beauty with another white dove and the world, that’s what he was born for. While growing up, he discovered that living carefree, full of inner peace is not so easy. That ‘s why he embarked on internal and external journey’s to learn. He discovered many dark spots on his white feathers, sometimes hidden underneath his wings. He got angry at them, ran away and fought with them. Nothing worked. At last, he allowed the rain of inner awareness to clean the darkness away.

His feathers are now white and shiny. He loves to fly freely around just for the fun of flying. While drinking in a pond, his own beauty reflects in the water. He is at ease with himself.

Time has come to share his beauty with others who have clear enough eyes to see. Time has come.

He is ready to undertake another seasonal journey, far away to the beautiful country of Thailand. This bird migration phenomenon happens because it just feels right inside. He does not know where he eventually will end, or what he will do. What he knows, is that his intuition always guides him to the right spot. To the right places and the right people to make this dream come true.

Is he and the world really ready to allow his dream to be lived?

Een vlaamse klassieker die deze morgen in mijn hoofd rondwaart. I like the melody and the lyrics. It is a song about never giving up. A song about keep going even when things look not always as you expect them to be. Doorgaan, no matter what. A song about hope and courage. Keep going on the road you had in mind. But have the courage to walk around the bend when a bend shows up. There will be even a straighter road…

The song encourages to keep going:

Keep going in a speechless night,
Keep going with a wobbly certainty,
Keep going in a trench without light,
Keep going everytime you stand still,
naked in a hurricane.
Keep going when nobody expect you anylonger to keep going.
We ‘ll keep going until we are together.

“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well,
but the certainty that something makes sense,
regardless of how it turns out.”

~Vaclav Havel~

We zullen doorgaan (Ramses Shaffey)
We zullen doorgaan, met de stootkracht van de milde kracht
We zullen doorgaan, in de sprakeloze nacht
We zullen doorgaan, we zullen doorgaan
We zullen doorgaan, tot we samen zijn

We zullen doorgaan, met de weifelende zekerheid
Om door te gaan, in een sprakeloze tijd
We zullen doorgaan, we zullen doorgaan
We zullen doorgaan tot we samen zijn

We zullen doorgaan, met het zweet op ons gezicht
Om alleen door te gaan, in een loopgraaf zonder licht
We zullen doorgaan, we zullen doorgaan
we zullen doorgaan, tot we samen zijn

We zullen doorgaan, telkens als we stilstaan
Om weer door te gaan, naakt in een orkaan
We zullen doorgaan, we zullen doorgaan
We zullen doorgaan, tot we samen zijn

We zullen doorgaan, als niemand meer verwacht
Dat we weer doorgaan, in een sprakeloze nacht
We zullen doorgaan, we zullen doorgaan
We zullen doorgaan, tot we samen zijn

After visiting some friends in Germany, this wisdom becomes so obvious. I met Guido for the first time in Thailand a couple of years ago. He wrote this quote in my diary. Since then this wisdom was a guidance in my life. While visiting him in Bonn, I saw he got the quote from this poster hanging on his wall. The quote together with the beauty pic, make me even better understand.

In Berlin, Damaris, my lovely host, gave me the song. I just love the calm songs from Live and while hearing this one, things become more clear.

We create our own life. Our destiny does not depend on outer chances we just follow. It depends on the choices we make deep inside. It is not easy to let go of chances which look attractive. But if they are not 100% in line with our inner knowing, they are leading to nothing but suffering.

We like our daily environment, even if we feel stuck. Because we know it and it feels familiar. We are afraid to let go. Let go of the stuckness, the numbness.

All we have to do, is to choose. We are free. Free to choose the life we want.

Very appropriate in my own life. I am in a phase of choosing. The choices I make now, will create my life in the future. That’s why I wish myself clarity. Clarity but also braveness to bring my choices to reality. That means that I wanna be free enough to find as well. Brave enough to let go of the past. To be free to do what is necessary to be done.

Ans

even now
the world is bleedin’
but feelin’ just fine
all numb in our castle
we’re always free to choose
never free enough to find

I wish somethin’ would break
cause we’re runnin’ out of time

“Overcome” by Live